Women Living with ADHD: Navigating Shame and Seeking Acceptance


Written by Eileen Hopkins

My road to counselling and psychotherapy has been interesting. Having worked in a caring profession, nursing for over 30 years, I was always at my happiest when interacting with my patients & I have always been a people person.

As women who have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), we are expected to conform to the norms of a neurotypical environment. It may pay lip service to our neurotypical difference since that is exactly what attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is: a neurotypical difference. It is not a sickness or dysfunction, even though we may be made to feel ashamed of it. However, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adults has not yet been accepted by the culture.

The casual mixing of the phrase “I’m so ADHD” with the actual language of neurotypical diversity has not been beneficial to us in any way. At this point, we are not only space cadets, but we are also histrionic, particularly ladies. We are being overly dramatic, requesting favours, and demanding that concessions be made. All of them are inconvenient because differences amongst neurotypical people are nothing if not inconvenient to a more neurotypical world.

When we have trouble following a conversation, when we blurt out ideas without respect for the conversation that is going on around us, and when we create plans but are unable to follow through with them, our problems are not as cute as they may seem.

Many of the symptoms of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, women experience in silence Particular requirements are imposed by the neurotypical world, including punctuality, the ability to remember things, neatness, and specific social mores. In many cases, we are unable to fulfil these requirements. It is difficult for us to be punctual because we tend to lose sight of time, and even if we haven’t lost track of time, we seem to have lost track of other things, such as wallets, keys, money, and young children, which makes it impossible for us to leave within the time frame that we have been given.

Living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as an adult in a world that is neurotypical is challenging. If I could wave a magic wand and have my attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) disappear into thin air, I would rip that wand in half. I have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which is a part of who I am and how my brain is structured, for that I am proud and remember that this does not render me flawed, lacking, or in need of treatment. On the other hand, it makes me feel the desire for acceptance. of the wider world with a certain amount of mercy and understanding.
Unfortunately, we do not always conform to your neurotypical standards, and it is difficult for us to do so. However, all that we are requesting is that you assist us in coping with that. Allow us some space, we need some time, grant us grace.

More than everything else, please accept us as us. That very simple act has the potential to make our lives a great deal simpler.

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